You Haunt My Dreams I Miss You So Much When I Am
by Starvingmoose
Summary: Francis breaks up with a lover. I wrote this based on an RP. I was France, and his ex lover was America and left him for Japan.


I lay awake in bed, my blue eyes dull and under slept, yet unable to close.

My body curled alone on the left side of this lonely king sized bed, covered in burgundy sheets which have seen many visitors.

The clock on the nightstand besides me blinks 6:00 AM, and begins to scream at me in it's annoying electronic howls.

The echoes of it's ignored cries remind me exactly how alone I am.

I slowly turn around and lightly press it's off button and turn to rest in the position I was in before.

Sunlight peeks passed my dark drawn curtains, giving the room an eerie dull glow.

I stared at the indent in my mattress, slowly tracing it's outline with my finger tips.

This is where you once slept. Laying besides me, sleeping soundly in my arms.

Sometimes I would lay awake, such as I am now, simply watching you sleep. Glad that it was you in my bed. Happy to share my pillows with someone that was not just another one night stand. Ecstatic to know that you, unlike everybody else that has visited my bed, would be there when I woke awoke.

But now you're gone, leaving me with only an indent in my mattress and memories that cling to me like the plague.

People call me a flirt, or a stupid pervert, and everything else along those lines. But the truth is, I am simply a coward.

Taking what I want from people and leaving with no strings attached.

Why?

Because of this.

The one time that I take a chance and let someone in, they make me love them and actually give a damn about them... Just to leave me, and become an indent in some other man's bed.

So I put on fake smiles, give everyone a show, and prey for everything to be like it used to.

Soon your scent will leave my sheets, and your indent will be filled by many other people.

The only thing left of you in my life will be the memories that haunt my dreams.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my long blond hair, glancing at the clock once more.

7:45.

Time sure passes by when I'm being a pathetic lump.

I forced myself to my feet and stumbled in to the bathroom to wash my face. I turned on the sink, hoping to be able to scrub the regret off of me.

I cupped my hands under the running water and splashed it on to my face, letting it drip down my chin and drop on to my bare chest.

With my eyes shut, I reached for the nearest towel and rubbed the water off of my skin.

I breathed in, catching a familiar scent in my nostrils and slowly opening my eyes.

This was your towel. I had purchased it for you when you had first moved in.

I remember how foolishly happy you were when I gave it to you, since it bared your flag on it.

I smiled softly at the memory, before it slowly melted away, leaving me with a scowl.

You insisted that I kept it when you left. You has said that your new lover had bought you one just like it, so it was no longer necessary.

I tossed the towel in to the corner of the bathroom, knocking down bottles of soap and cologne in the process.

_Did your new lover hold you like I did, too? Did he make you scream his name as loud as you screamed mine? Did he make you moan in pleasure so much that your toes curled? Did he caress your body with passion equal to mine? _

I hope he's worth it. I really do.

I though bitterly as I threw on a pair of clean pants.

As I buttoned my shirt, I caught sight of my telephone, blinking to tell me I had a message.

With annoyance, I picked it up and played the message.

"Hey... It's me..."

My heart nearly stopped at the sound of your voice, coming from my answering machine's speakers.

"I just wanted to know when would be a good time to pick up the last of my things..." You spoke hesitantly, your awkward tone dancing in to my ears like a million of tiny needles, numbing my brain in to mush.

"I'm really happy with him, you know... Goodbye..."

I wasn't quite sure which made me more sick.

That you replaced me so quickly and easily, or the fact that I as actually _relieved _to hear that you were happy.

I set down the phone and continued to get dressed.

Tonight I'm going to drink you away. I'm going to bring home the most attractive person at the bar, be it man or woman.

You know me, I'm not that picky.

I'll take what I want from them, knowing they'll be gone in the morning.

I'll continue to be ridiculed as a pervert, but I don't care. I won't let anyone hurt me, ever again.

I stared at the mirror, flashing myself a flirtatious smirk.

I am what everybody says. I will be what everybody wants.

I am a pathetic, broken man.

I am Francis Bonnefoy, and starting today, I no longer give a fuck.


End file.
